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The Whale In Your Heart. Projects Begging To Be Born. That Thing You Can’t Avoid.

May 13, 2011

IMAGINE THIS, IF YOU PLEASE…

You are in your bedroom, sitting on your bed. You are cozy, surrounded by pillows and luxuriating in the softness of your duvet. You’re content, happy.

You are in a place that is at once comforting and familiar. You turn to look out your window and realize you are underwater. This shocks you for a moment.

But, you can breathe. You are ok. So, you rationalize, I am in my room but in an underwater complex. Like Atlantis. Like Sequest DMV. Okay, cool.

So, take a moment to understand that. Look around – make sure this is your room and that you are safe. You are.

In awe, still perched on your bed, you swivel your head to look out your window, which has been transformed into a porthole. Deep and mysterious ocean surrounds your snug habitat.

Then, you spot a whale swimming outside. Beautiful in its grandiosity. You marvel at his grace.

After passing by your porthole a few times, the whale takes a very large arc. He’s swimming out to sea. Away from you. You’re sad to see him go.

As if he senses your sadness, he circles back. This time, he’s swimming directly towards you. While he approaches you straight-on, you’re not afraid. There’s nothing menacing or scary about his approach.

Inquisitive, he swims up to your porthole. He aligns himself with his eye framed by your porthole window. You are staring into the eye of a beast so much larger and more powerful than yourself.

All you can see is that eye, but he can see your entire room. In this moment of communion, you feel like he sees everything.

You blink and stand in awe of the creature’s intelligence. You know, in your deepest core, that this whale is part of you now.

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THEN YOU WAKE UP AND THINK WHAT THE HELL?

This is a dream I had not so long ago. It was the early hour of the morning when I rest my eyes between the first ring of my alarm and the sounding of the snooze. Neither awake nor asleep, I linger between states of consciousness.

I woke up with an overwhelming sense of, What the Fuck?! Dude, I just dreamt about an enormous whale staring at me. I went to twitter, facebook and google to surmise the significance of this dream.

Almost immediately, I knew what was up. You see, days before I had a great idea. This compulsion and need to explore how businesses use vulnerability. Rolling on the high of my hypothesis, I reached out to a few bloggers and businesswomen I admire. I asked if they’d chat with me. I put it out in the universe and felt great. For about 12 hours.

After 12 hours, I began to wonder if my scheme was only half-baked. Would these people I admire take me seriously? Would they reject me? What happens if they say yes? I’ll have to level-up and really do this. Commit to this idea and project.

I got scared. I recoiled.

And, as responses started to come in from people who were lit up by my idea and wanted to participate, I dreamt about a whale.

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WHAT GIFT ARE YOU RECOILING FROM?

What whale is swimming in the living room of your heart?

The whale represents what I cannot avoid – what’s in my heart. I harbor the desire to use my intuition and analytic skills to create a book that is useful and transformational.

Even in the throes of fear, I am reminded that I have to pursue this no matter what. It’s begging to be born.

How I felt during the dream seems to be a legend – it is possible to feel unsettled and safe, magnificent and troubled. We can push forward in spite of fear.

I know I’m not the only person who is experiencing this. Right? What desire persists even though you’ve tried to turn away from it?

Are you ready to accept the call?

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. May 13, 2011 9:25 pm

    Bea-U-tee-ful post Leigh!! I am accepting the call. For years I had recoiled from using my intuition, humor, & research skills to help guide people toward their custom built life. In those years I gained wisdom and tools that have proven invaluable so no regrets, but…anyhow, as I push forward, I still recoil a bit. I’m in the editing phase of my book and I wonder why sometimes. Why am I doing this, why does it feel like it needs to be done? I’ve come to accept (and accept again when I doubt) that it’s just in me to do and that rocks. It’s what I have to give to the world.

    Your dream articulates it beautifully and makes me think of how our intuition can *see* all that is possible when we follow it. We can see a tiny bit of the work, but once we’ve seen even that bit, it’s apart of us.

  2. June 4, 2011 12:22 am

    Can I just say, the title post totally threw me off and I just *had* to keep reading until it made sense! Hahah, now I think I have a new term of phrase, “what whale are you hiding from?” It’s like the “elephant in the room” but not about something awkward, but dreams, ideas and passions.

    Great, now I’m going to be OBSESSED with whales and this is the first post of yours I read. ruh-roh. Regardless- I stumbled upon your blog on the LoveDrop forum and came here to check you out (I think everyone on LD is awesome and want to get to know people who love helping others, I need more in my life!) Regardless, I LOVE your blog…like, love love…and now I’ve got whales and dreams on the brain, so you made an impression!

    I’m currently grappling with my own “whale,” which is starting a scholarship in honor of my friend who passed away last year unexpectedly from a pulmonary embolism. It’s a dream, then some action, then I worry, then I dream, then I act a bit, then the dream seems like the whale’s cruised right up to the porthole, started banging on the window with his flipper and says “C’mon, work harder!” Needless to say, that whale’s getting on my nerves. Haha.
    Great post, can’t wait to read more!

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