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Shame, Defined by Brene Brown

April 9, 2011

If you’ve been following along, then you know I’ve recently been exploring Shame. My own feelings of it and how I think it’s connected to fear.

Through serendipity, I found myself watching Brene Brown’s TedxHouston talk tonight. Brene is a social worker, storyteller and researcher who is fascinated by connection.

We’re soul sisters in that – I’m also obsessively interested in the interconnectedness of humanity.

For her doctoral research, Brene wanted to interview people and understand connection. But, something strange happened. Every time she wanted to talk about connection, people responded with stories of times they felt disconnected.

At this point, Brene came to realize there was an unnamed and elusive force that undermines connection. She wanted to figure it out.

I’m sure you can guess, but I’ll post the question anyway: What do you think unravels connection?

In her research, Brene found the culprit — Shame.

“Shame, which is easily understood as fear of disconnection. Is there something about me, that if other people know it or see it, I won’t be worthy of connection?”

Shame is the fear of not being good enough. Shame is universal. Shame is vulnerable. And vulnerability – allowing ourselves to be really seen – is necessary to form connections.

Brene has some crazy good insights on how to live with vulnerability. Please watch her talk below.

5 Comments leave one →
  1. April 9, 2011 12:40 am

    I had the pleasure of seeing her speak live, and meet her, at Blissdom. She is like a megaphone shouting my own thoughts on shame and vulnerability. Even more to our soul sister bond 🙂 *HUG*

    • April 9, 2011 12:44 am

      OMG. You’ve seen her speak live?! I’m in awe. I actually got goosebumps watching her talk and at one point said, “hot damn!” out loud to my hotel room. Seriously, I feel like my heart is on shout. Big hugs to you, soul sista!

  2. April 12, 2011 6:30 pm

    I can’t listen to the video right now, but I cannot wait! Your post alone had me nodding my head, saying “uh huh”, and feeling past experiences of that shame that disconnects (in a reflective and healing way.) I really appreciate what you’re doing with this!


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