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#Reverb10: Letting Go

December 5, 2010
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Reverb 10 Prompt: Let Go. What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why? via Alice Bradley

Oh, hell yeah. If shine was the main event of 2010, then letting go could have been a minor storyline. I shed a lot this year –molted– in preparation for growth.

In 2010, I let go of…

the search for a signal that would prove I am enough. I stopped my neverending quest for validation of my enoughness. Instead, I’ve chosen to believe I am enough. Just the way I am. Right here, right now. Bring it. [related reading: On Being Enough.]

the fear of revealing my true desires. My true voice. My heart.

my detachment. For years, I’ve maintained distance as a coping mechanism. Slowly, and with the help of a therapist, I re-learned what it meant to feel my feelings. This year, I stayed more present than I have in a very long time. I felt my feelings –open, free, irritated, satisfied, resentful, loved, discouraged, joyous, uncertain, blessed, embarrassed, alive, anxious, intrigued, reserved, lonely & tenacious– and I survived.  Perhaps even excelled.

playing small. I am brilliant, gorgeous, talented & fabulous. I will no longer shrink; I’m here to shine.

self-deception. I’m working very hard to accept myself as I am. To be honest about my faults and triumphs. To analyze the failures and learn from my mistakes.

my favorite pattern in the fall 2011 collection. It just didn’t work with everything else. The assortment is far more cohesive without it. That doesn’t mean I don’t miss it.

In 2011, I’d like to let go of…

self-doubt. In all of its forms.

comparing my work to others. Instead, I want to trust my process. Live in my own creativity. Relish what I do.

scarcity. A mindset that undermines rather than enhances.

anxiety. Paralyzing anxiety. Up-all-night anxiety.

apologizing for being assertive. I do what has to be done to push this business forward. It might be unusual for a woman in Cambodia, but that’s not my problem.

my fear of traveling alone. Last week, I stayed in Bangkok for a few days on my own, but only because I was already there for work. While I might have started to chip away at this fear, there’s still plenty more work to do.

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Reverb 10 is an annual event and online initiative to reflect on your year and manifest what’s next.

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. December 6, 2010 4:21 am

    This is so chock full of yumminess, I can’t even pick my favorite morsel!
    I will just add that, from personal experience, traveling alone is incredibly affirming. And allows for so many opportunities to connect. I highly encourage it.
    I SO look forward to following your journey going forward, and I’m so glad to have “met” you through #reverb10!

    • December 7, 2010 12:26 pm

      I’m starting to realize the opportunities that traveling alone can present – like the total freedom to do whatever I want! Will definitely be stretching and forcing myself to do more solo adventuring in 2011.

  2. December 6, 2010 5:12 am

    Love this answer!

    • December 7, 2010 12:27 pm

      Thank you, Alice! And, big thanks for an awesome prompt!

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